Advice

If U Ask Mia: God Could I Use a Drink

Dear Mia: My friend is concerned that I drink alone. The thing is, I don’t drink alone, my higher power is always present where ever I am. Am I doing something wrong?

Dear Highball in Heaven: No, you are not doing anything wrong, unless, of course, you are drinking blended frozen drinks or white zin…

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Breaking News

Obama THAT ONE posters free for the taking!

McCain-inspired Obama THAT ONE posters hit the Internet shortly after the debate and they’re yours for the taking!

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Old Fart's Venice

My Father’s Pictures

As enamored of the arts as I was when I was a teenager, like most of same, I sought the things I was interested in outside the home. It’s too bad, because I missed out on what should have been more of a source of inspiration to me. Ken O’Brien, my dad.

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Old Fart's Venice

The Venice Painters

When I was twelve or thirteen, a young couple moved in across the street. They were Max Hendler and Arlene Goldberg, and they were part of a loose group of painters who lived and worked in Venice during the sixties.

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Palin abandons run for VP, will run for president instead

SHAFTER, CA — Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska today announced her decision to abandon her run for vice president in order to head the Republican ticket. “The way Senator McCain talks about they didn’t elect him Miss Congeniality,” Palin said, “he deserves to win it before he gets any older and crankier.”

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More PREMATURE McCAIN Ads!

VENICE, CA — The premature McCain Wins Debate! advertisement that appeared on presidential candidate John McCain’s website today turns out to have merely been the tip of the iceberg! Dogtown Ink has come into possession of a whole slew of additional McCain ads. Seems the cocky candidate is prepared for all kinds of premature ejaculations.

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McCain’s actual reason for calling campaign time-out revealed: he misses his naps

WASHINGTON, D.C. — While many believe John McCain is calling for a break from the presidential campaign to demonstrate both his rocket scientist economical expertise–as opposed to because he’s down in the polls, wants to avoid answering for lies about his campaign manager’s ongoing (until halted this month by the Feds) financial relationship with Freddie Mac, and is afraid of being skewered in Friday’s debate–in actuality, the seventy-one-year-old Republican nominee just really misses his naps.

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McCain hospitalized with gunshots to foot–Cheney not a suspect

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Doctors here today raced to repair John McCain after the notoriously hot-tempered Senator repeatedly shot himself in the foot in recent days. “Not only that,” said forensic podiatrist Dr. Saul Bunyon, “He stuffed it in his mouth. Repeatedly. Ick.”

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Underground Diaries

Feeling the heat? Go Bollywood!

Next time you find yourself with a gun to your head, a suggestion: Slap on an outrageous grin and bust your best moves through undulating bolts of colorful fabric and a phalanx of bhangra-ing backup dancers. If you know anything at all about Bollywood movies, you’ll know it works every time.

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Underground Diaries

It’s a Bollywood World After All

For Iram Parveen Bilal, a USC grad student and self-professed Bollywood nut, this was the last chance to join the school’s Anjaane Hindi film dance team before receiving her degree. The lone Islamic member of the team — she’s from Islamabad, Pakistan — Iram took full advantage…with a couple of costume alterations.

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Underground Diaries

Smile Hard: How to win a Bollywood dance-off

Participants in Bollywood film dance troupe competitions are nothing if not serious about winning… Didrik and I studied the oeuvre extensively and came up with this plan for world domination. Watch and learn.

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