Money shot in the arm: stimulus checks used for porn

by doglord

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA — President Bush’s stimulus package is definitely doing some stimulating according to AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company). Since the stimulus checks were sent out in May, porn websites have been reporting membership increases, some up to 30 percent.

“Those numbers are rock hard,” said Bush economic advisor, Ron Jeremy. “Just like me on Cialis — I love bush! His stimulus package is a master stroke!”

Asked why the economy as a whole has shown no signs of improvement as a result of the checks, Jeremy had this to say:

“First, the economy is not a hole — or not like any hole I’m familiar with. And I’m familiar with a lot of holes.”

“Secondly, it is stimulating — maybe not the American economy, since we in the porn industry generally pour windfall profits into the cocaine economy. But that’s a lot of damn porno people are blowing those checks on, someone besides me is getting stimulated.”

Nevertheless, new polls show Bush’s popularity to be at its lowest level ever.

“He needs to stop capitalizing the ‘b’ in ‘Bush’,” said Jeremy. “bush is always popular!”

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