Flesh-Eating Virus Going Vegan?


Flesh-Eating Virus Going Vegan?

by doglord

In a sign of our health-conscious times—or maybe just because flesh eating is a putrid habit—the bad boy of the Streptococcus family, Flesh-Eating Virus, is considering a surprise change of diet.

“This may sound crazy, but I’m thinking hard about going vegan,” the Flesh-Eating Virus (F-EV) told Entertainment Tonight’s Pat O’Brien on a segment last night that sought to portray the Virus’ softer side.

“Don’t get me wrong, I still like meat—or flesh really,” the organism behind necrotizing fasciitis continued, speaking through the ET host, who bent over a Petri dish in order to translate.

“This isn’t a PR stunt,” O’Brien relayed to viewers in his best Flesh-Eating Virus voice. “I don’t need good PR to eat all the flesh off your body.”

According to ET’s plucky host (who moved abruptly away from the Petri dish after the previous exchange) F-EV credits pop star/yoga practitioner/vegan/tantric sex guru Sting for inspiring the change of diet:

“I wouldn’t eat that dude’s flesh with your mouth,” F-EV reportedly told O’Brien, of the singer.

“If I do go vegan—and that’s a big ‘if’, your ear looked really yummy just now,” the virus told the host model, “If I do go vegan, I’ll probably go with a raw diet.”

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 12:42 am and is filed under Front Page News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 Comment so far


  1. 1 tony genitalia on February 7, 2008 8:21 pm

    Let me just add that the real problem with O’Brien, other than his teeth, is that he still——despite all his success in broadcasting——has not gotten over the fact that his brother, musician Ronnie James Dio, kicked him out of the band for not wearing an iron codpiece during a late 1970s show at Greenwich Village’s The Anvil. It’s sad.

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