NEW ORLEANS, LA — Having left audiences nationwide slack-jawed and dumbstruck by his Tuesday night speech before a green backdrop that makes it a snap to superimpose porno on, Republican senator and presidential hopeful John “That Weird Smile” McCain plans to cash in on the buzz he’s created by marketing a speechmaking DVD.
“We’re making a straight-talk kinda DVD,” the candidate told fawning reporters today. “We’re thinking of calling it ‘Blowing an Election in One Freakish Speech’ but we want people to fax us in suggestions using our Internet site.”
A Bonus Disk entitled ‘Don’t Ever Make That Smile Again’ is said to be in the works as well. John Madden is rumored to be in talks to tele-strate the replays.
“The only problem we’re having with that disk is choosing which among the countless, painfully ingenuous and downright oddly-timed smiles the Senator cracked the other night to use,” said infomercial guru, Lester Ronco.
The feisty candidate hopes to raise cash for his flagging campaign fundraising efforts.
“Why, since my speech opposite Senator Obama’s, the bottom has dropped out on our fundraising efforts, I have no clue. though I am, like, a thousand years old,” McCain was overheard saying, during a recent awkward embrace of President Bush, whom he’s seeking to distance himself from. “That’s not change you can believe in…heh-heh.”