VENICE, CA – World-renowned maverick-hunter Billy-Tim Hormel today officially joined the millions of Americans wondering WTF happened to so-called maverick Senator John McCain and who the awkward imposter is that’s taken his place.

“I’m devastated by the disappearance of the maverick who used to do the right thing instead of sucking up to the right,” said Hormel, speaking from this seaside maverick enclave where he’s begun his search for “the real McCoy–or McCain–that dude running for president has bupkis to do with maverick.”

Hormel believes there may be foul play involved in the respected senator’s disappearance and believes his obvious replacement by a pandering hack reminds him of another, infamous case of the old switcheroo.

“When Paul McCartney died back in ’66, they convinced everyone it was a hoax,” Hormel said, referring to the “Paul is dead” rumors that were successfully denied in 1969. “If a bunch of Beatles can convince the public that Paul’s disappearance was an urban legend, imagine what a cockroach like Karl Rove can do: Next thing you know, this so-called McCain will be singing Ebony and Ivory with Clarence frikkin’ Thomas.”

While recent history may suggest that all searches for missing Republican senators from the western U.S. begin and end in the Minneapolis Airport men’s restroom, Hormel was quick to poo-poo such insinuation.

“Though the guy can no longer lay claim to the Straight Talk Express label, it’s clear he’s straight,” said Hormel. “No self-respecting gay dude–even a closeted one–is tone deaf enough to make two critical speeches against green backgrounds that make him look like a burn victim.”