Soccer Games Becoming “Major Distraction” for Fan Brawls

by doglord

Soccer games have become an increasing distraction for brawling soccer fans, according to the World Soccer Fan Brawling Association (WSFBA).

The latest incident came over the weekend in Bogata, Columbia, when authorities forcibly halted a grandstand set-to, between Team America de Cali’s “Red Baron” fan club and Deportivo de Cali fans, in order to complete, of all things, a soccer game.

“People are always going to play soccer,” said WSFBA president, Evander “Punch” Armstrong, “That’s just human nature and we aren’t going to try to change that.””What we wonder, though, is will pure soccer hooligans ever be able to enjoy a lawless conflagration without having to deal with the unnecessary distraction of a bunch of twinks prancing around a playing field in kneepants?”

So concerned that soccer games are detracting from the much-loved fan brawls, WSFBA officials are considering sanctions for any club that attempts to play a soccer match before, during or after a major fan brawl.

“You look up from getting slugged in the throat, the last thing you want to see is a great soccer match,” said Armstong. “People come to these things to stab and gravely injure others by any means necessary. The last thing they want to see is world-class athletes playing by the rules. It’s just a complete indignity.”

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