POPE


Vatican Appends Appended List of Sins

by doglord

Oops! The Vatican did it again! Days after updating its list of original sins with modern sins like polluting and pushing drugs, the Vatican is back with eight more latter day no-nos.

“Now that I think about it,” the Pope said, on a conference call with reporters, “There are a few more transgressions that really get up my nose.”

These additional, or addendum sins, include: 

• Ruining the “wide stance” defense for the rest of us;
• Using walkie-talkie phones…ever;
• Ending every statement with “fool”;
• Ditching your perfectly good SUV for a Prius;
• Male lower-back tattoos;
• Carrot Top;
• Texting one person while “talking” to another;
• Defending Tom Cruise.

Really tiresome shit that apparently didn’t make the “sin” cut this time around include perennial moral lapses mime, farting under the blankets, and reality shows.

Receiving serious consideration for the next Vatican sin update are flacking for Hillary Clinton and persecuting others while banging prostitutes at four grand-a-pop.

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