Bigfoot false alarm: hairy creature actually Ron Jeremy


Bigfoot false alarm: hairy creature in freezer actually porn star Ron Jeremy

by doglord

PALO ALTO, CA — The hairy beast two men recently dragged from the Georgia woods believing it to be a mythical Bigfoot monster turns out instead to be legendary porn actor Ron Jeremy.

“We thought we’d found the missing link,” hunter Rick Dyer told reporters. “That’s one deep-ply backside. What is the dude, Greek?”

In yet another embarrassing setback for the Sasquatch cause, the two hunters mistook the hirsute adult film star for bigfoot when they came across him in the woods enjoying a deep, post-coital nap.

Turns out Jeremy had just finished shooting a draining location sequence for his upcoming XXX DVD, Goin’ South With My Mouth. Police reports confirm he’s been missing ever since.

“It was an understandable mistake,” a red-faced Matthew Whitton, Dyer’s co-hunter, told reporters. “You know how they say big feet, big…? Huge.”

The bigfoot hunters insisted right up until they unlocked and opened their meat locker at today’s press conference that it contained a sasquatch monster. Instead they found one very cold and PO’d porn star.

“Now that I think about it,” Whitton says, “There was something really familiar about its mustache.”

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