Extreme Pogo Sticking

International Dork-on-X-treme-Pogo-Stick Institute: Hospital Food “Not So Good”

by doglord

A report released today by the International Dork-on-X-treme-Pogo-Stick Institute (IDEPSI) maintains that hospital food is “not so good.”

The report also finds fault with assurances by X-treme pogo stick makers that the “sport” is “fun once you get the hang of it.”

“Yeah, it’s fun…if you think crapping yourself in front of your new girlfriend seconds before you become a quadriplegic for life is fun,” said former IDEPSI-member Sherman Clark, blinking his eye to signal letters of the alphabet in order to spell words, since he no longer has the power of speech.

Clark had only just gotten acquainted with extreme pogo-sticking—he was actually on his maiden pogo voyage—when he inadvertently jumped into oncoming traffic on Pacific Coast Highway.

“I was stricken the entire time I was on the thing…which was all of about 3 seconds!” Clark continued, batting his one good eye (so much so that this reporter felt compelled to give it a squirt of Visine).

“I can’t honestly say whether hospital food is good or bad, I’m being fed through a tube,” Clark continued blinking. “But it smells like ass. I can still smell.”

“We were merely trying to fire up nerds who’ve never been publicly humiliated and gravely injured by the same device,” said Ed Nugent, of X-treme Pogoponics.

“We don’t see this a referendum on our product…though it should be a wake up call for hospital kitchens.”

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