Microsoft to Acquire Liechtenstein

by doglord

Microsoft today announced its intention to acquire the double land-locked alpine principality of Liechtenstein.

The software behemoth, whose $44 billion bid for giant Internet portal Yahoo was recently rebuffed, has agreed to pay, well, less for the tiny European nation.

“For starters, your Liechtenstein’s of the world are not as catchily-named as your Yahoos,” said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. “Additionally, as luck would have it, Liechtenstein is not in the Internet search business.”

“Still, we think the country’s a good fit for us,” Ballmer said. “We will now be able to officially crown Bill Gates king. You can’t just do that everywhere. And we can always use another tax haven.”

“Ultimately, it’s about keeping our acquisition game sharp. We’ll probably go after Luxembourg, or maybe Burkina Faso, next. But we still plan to ultimately takeover—and suck the remaining lifeblood out of—that Yahoo.”


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