Space Station Robot Gets Arms, Eyes — Awaits Johnson

by doglord

Now that astronauts have successfully attached arms and camera “eyes” to the International Space Station’s new robot Dextre (for Dexterous Manipulator), all that’s left is the package. According to Dr. Mora Dix, NASA’s Specialty-Appendage Engineer, it will be “hard, but not that hard.”

“We should have the robot’s junk attached by cocktail time,” Dr. Dix told reporters, noting (somewhat wistfully, it must be noted) that “Dextre’s ‘tool’ is the largest and most powerful ‘tool’ that, certainly, I have ever mounted.”

When asked why a space station repair robot needed a robotic johnson, Dix had this to say:”Dextre is a Dexterous Manipulator. Manipulators manipulate. Dextre is going to be spending a lot of time alone in space. He needs something to keep him sharp between missions. When our design team asked themselves what they would want to manipulate to stay sharp under similar circumstances, the response was essentially premature it came so fast.

Of course, some of us said a love button and super-sensitive nips. But there are more guys on the team, so a space pecker it is.

“Dix refused to confirm or deny rumors that the appendage had military applications, but did confide: “Dextre’s a robot. He can fire that thing like a canon. Any person in their right mind would have to consider it a weapon…But what a way to go, you know?”

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