International Dork-on-X-treme-Pogo-Stick Institute: Hospital Food “Not So Good” on 0715 2008

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“I can’t honestly say whether or not hospital food is good or not because I’m being fed through a tube,” Clark continued blinking. “But it smells like ass. I can still smell.”

Beach House Market on 0714 2008

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I’ll take a V-8, some bananas and a bogey board, please.

Chiken Teriyaki Chinese on 0714 2008

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Not sure that’s the official name, but it’s a catchy come on.

Roger Clemens Denies Steroid Use, Punches Out Congress on 0713 2008

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Thirty-nine-time Cy Young Award-winning pitcher Roger Clemens returned to Capitol Hill today, repeating denials that he used performance enhancing drugs before dropping to the floor for 300 clapping push-ups and punching out everyone on the panel.

Venice Playground/Workout Pit on 0712 2008

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Between the body-building facilities at the Venice Recreation Center (the new Muscle Beach area) and the actual beach lies a sandy yard equipped with balance beam, rings, uneven bars, climbing rope and a range of other gymnastic and recreational apparatuses. It’s for bigger kids and adults. (An enclosed children’s playground can be found 100 yards to the north.)

A more relaxed locale for chin-ups than the nearby body-building facility, the work/play pit is a popular place for speed bag practice (there’s a speed bag station — though you must bring your own bag or possibly rent one from the rec center office).

South Venice Beach Volleyball Nets on 0712 2008

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There are four or five public volleyball nets on the beach south of the Venice Lifeguard Station. Though there are a few regular games, the nets are available to all, first come, first serve. Literally. Bring your own balls and line.

First Ladies Man—Bill Clinton: “Fired Up and Ready To Go Day One!” on 0711 2008

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“I’m pumped to serve as First Ladies Man—very!” Clinton told reportedly told . “And I’ve got ZERO problem with it. I’ll be fired up and ready to go day one. Day Two, too. Hell, I’ll go every day of the week, God willing.”

Buzzbomb Tattoo on 0711 2008

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Marissa’s fine tattoo artistry is much in demand along the boardwalk. Buzzbomb, itself, isn’t much to look at, but Marissa’s ink art is. If you’ve come to the beach for a tattoo, make sure to consider Marissa.

Venice Pier on 0711 2008

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Reopened after severe storm damage a decade ago, the fishing pier’s toilets were blasted off the end by huge waves in December ’05. Gnarley…though no one was in them at the time. A stroll on the pier can make for a lovely constitutional. View fellow strollers, power walkers, people fishing, surfers, lifeguards, sea gulls, bat rays, dolphins and sea lions (if you’re lucky) and get a different perspective on Venice and Los Angeles.

Study: More Americans In Rehab Than Out on 068 2008

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A new study finds more Americans in rehab than out, though hard numbers for those who are out were difficult to obtain (given that most were “out” clubbing or “out” cold from the previous night’s clubbing).

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