Not one to be one-upped by Lindsey Lohan, freaky D-list personality Carrot Top has announced that he, too, will recreate Marilyn Monroe’s famed last nude photo shoot.

“I mean, my whole life has been about the tasteless and macabre,” said the Vegas “comedian”, who isn’t funny so much as terrifying, having gone from being an annoying 90-pound weakling with Annie ringlets to an annoying steroid-pumped freak with Annie ringlets, plucked eyebrows and more work than Joan Rivers. “I’m just not ready to hand over my creepy crown to that little b****.”

Lindsey Lohen’s OMGWTF! fresh-out-of-rehab recreation of Marilyn’s final photo shoot demonstrated to many that she’s not only still high, but that she’s shameless, as well, with a self-image that’s wildly out of touch with reality. Carrot Top takes this all as a personal affront.

“I couldn’t do what I do if I wasn’t high, completely shameless, and in possession of a self-image that’s wildly out of touch with reality,” the prop-dependant entertainer said. “But I am.”

“Lindsey not only stepped on Marilyn’s toes with her recreation of her last photo shoot, she patted me on my store-bought behind: Her weird behavior basically endorses my weird behavior all these years.”

Still, Carrot Top understood time was of the essence.

“I always knew I’d regret it if I didn’t do this before I got too old. And I do. But it isn’t like people were begging to see Lindsey naked, either.’”