Young Great White Reaches Cabo in Record Time


Young Great White Reaches Cabo in Record Time (Barely Beats Carload of Cougars)

by doglord

Experts are expressing amazement that a young great white shark, released in February from the Monterey Aquarium, arrived in Pacific Ocean waters off Baja’s Cabo San Lucas in record time (and, coincidentally, just in time for spring break).

Others are like, “duh.”

“Where does any man-eater go this time of year?” said Ellen Barkin, as she careened into Cabo with a carload of cougars.

With tens of thousands of oiled-up, liquored-up youths in banana hammocks and board shorts crowding area beaches for March meat madness, predators — sexual and seafaring — stream south for the yearly Cabo Wabo gobble-a-thon.

“I don’t know why the shark experts are making such a big deal about how fast the fish got down here,” Ms. Barkin exclaimed, during a tequila body-shot-drinking limbo contest.

“We would’ve been here a lot faster, ourselves,” Barkin said, “If we hadn’t stopped to bang every hot, young stud we met on the way down.”

As for the juvenile shark, making it to “Sammy Hagar City” in time for the party was a single-minded pursuit.

“I have a very small brain, so single-minded pursuits suit me,” the shark said, through pilot fish interpreters. “I may not be that good at small talk, but once there’s blood in the water, I’ll eat the ass off pretty much all comers.”

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 at 2:52 am and is filed under Front Page News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 Comment so far


  1. 1 anosila on April 10, 2008 1:49 am

    eek.

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