Fists of Furry?

Fists of Furry! — or Oh, No You Didn’t Just Call Me a Perv…

by doglord

After being treated to years of ridicule, scorn and abuse as a “furry”, Brindleskins Skydancer decided to do something about it.

Furries — or furry fandom enthusiasts — are weird people who wear animal costumes around conventions and claim to identify with their animal spirits and occasionally get into big “fur piles” with other furries.

Small-minded people often refer to them as weird or beat them up. With the world composed almost entirely of small-minded people, Brindleskins Skydancer (who insists on going by his animal spirit name) eventually got fed up.

“So I took things into my own cloven hooves,” the fur fetishist says. “I’d been fur-bashed one too many times. I decided to return to the wild, learn the ways of the reindeer buck, return and kick some judgmental a**.”

“I left civilization to live among the reindeers — who are my animal spirits. That turned out not so cool. I got pretty badly stampeded every time I approached the herd.”

So Brindleskins returned to civilization and enrolled in a martial arts dojo in Buena Park. He emerged, many years later, a tenth-degree karate master, a Buddakan Judo high priest, and tae kwon-do Wu Li tree dancer. And an anthropomorphic avenger. No longer do people refer to him as weird (within earshot) or else…

Brindleskins’ spiritual journey wasn’t without its hardships.

“The dojo didn’t have air con, and doing karate chops all day in a furry reindeer suit, I got heat stroke a lot. But I was determined to stay connected to my animal spirit.”

“We ALL stayed connected to his animal spirit,” says Pat Jujitsu, Brindleskins’ martial arts instructor. “Dude wore that funky damn reindeer costume for YEARS. It was like a fur burka — I never actually saw him in the flesh. But I smelled him. Freak reeked like a frikkin’ herd of caribou.”

Looking serenely out the eyeholes of his reindeer head, Brindleskins nods sagely.

“Though animal suits grow ripe, whose smell is whose is lost once in fur pile.”

That may explain why Brindleskins has never had to defend himself from a fur-basher since completing his apprenticeship at the dojo.

“There’s a wolverine that can’t get enough of me,” says Brindle. “But other than that, people generally give me a pretty wide berth.”

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