Jailed Polygamist Leader One of Cellmate’s Multiple B****s

by doglord

Despite serving 10 years to life in the Utah State Prison for polygamous-related behavior, famed polygamist leader Warren Jeffs continues the practice — in a manner of speaking.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it plural marriage,” cellmate Rodney “Hammertime” Dick said, of his relationship with Jeffs. “More like, I guess, (he’s) one of my multiple b****s.”

Jeffs’ run from the law and conviction for rape as an accomplice made international news. Jeffs, himself, made the FBI’s Most Wanted List. Such a high-profile criminal might be expected to intimidate tattoo-encrusted, white supremacist inmates like Hammertime.

“S*** no, that little pussy?” laughs Hammertime, over the prison pay phone. “It’s hard to get star struck about some scrawny-ass Mormon dude who can’t even defend himself.”

“As far as this whole ‘polygamy’ angle: Just because I’m in prison doesn’t mean I don’t need to express myself sexually…a lot,” Hammertime said, “That’s why I need multiple b****s. I guess polygamists and me have that in common.”

“Actually, now you mention it,” said Hammertime, “I could probably use some advice from (him) about how to manage all my jailhouse b****s. They can really work my nerves.”

It’s not known how Jeffs feels about serving — ironically enough — as one of Dick’s multiple b****s; Hammertime forbids him to make calls. Ever.

“I guess you could say that, in the sense that there’s only one master — me — he is still practicing polygamy,” concluded Hammertime. “Just on the other end of the stick, if you will.”

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