Wal-Mart to Employees: Vote Stupid! on 311 2008

by doglord | ˜ 1 Comment »

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Wal-Mart kicked off its new, employee “Vote Stupid” campaign recently by calling managers to mandatory meetings where they were encouraged to be, well, stupider.

McCain and Paris Hilton caught together in video on 3130 2008

by doglord | ˜ 5 Comments »

VENICE, CA — On the same day presidential hopeful John McCain likened his opponent Barak Obama to celebutant Paris Hilton, Dogtownink.com received this video (CLICK “READ ON” BELOW TO VIEW) of John McCain and Paris Hilton cavorting together, enjoying the benefits of the same Bush tax cuts for the wealthy that McCain has vowed to extend.

Life On Venice: Cut to the change on 3026 2008

by thebradmiskell | ˜ 3 Comments »

Photoshopped Fairey Obama and Abbot Kinney hair salon, Trim.

Digital photograph

July 26, 2008
Abbot Kinney Blvd
Venice, California

Auto industry’s surprise job boom: gas syphoning, catalytic converter boosting top list on 2917 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

VENICE, CA — Despite plummeting sales, plant closings and massive lay-offs, analysts say the automotive industry is actually experiencing strong job growth, fueled by a thriving smash-and-grab sector and industrious gas re-salers.

“Nature’s Viagra” watermelon placed on endangered list after Marina Del Rey riots on 2917 2008

by doglord | ˜ 7 Comments »

MARINA DEL REY, CA — The Environmental Protection Agency today placed watermelon on the endangered species list after reports that the fleshy fruit is nature’s Viagra sparked hoarding and riots in Marina Del Rey, Calif, home to the world’s largest concentration of aging horn dogs.

Bigfoot false alarm: hairy creature in freezer actually porn star Ron Jeremy on 2915 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

PALO ALTO, CA — The hairy beast two men recently dragged from the Georgia woods believing it to be a mythical Bigfoot monster turns out instead to be legendary porn actor Ron Jeremy.

Money shot in the arm: stimulus checks used for porn on 272 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA — President Bush’s stimulus package is definitely doing some stimulating: According to AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), since the stimulus checks were sent out in May, many porn websites have reported membership increases of up to 30 percent.

Duct-tape hands-free headset spells relief for Calif. drivers on 271 2008

by doglord | ˜ 3 Comments »

VENICE, CA — Inventor Cary Sperry has an answer for California drivers who can no longer make or take calls now that it’s illegal to use a hand-held cellphone while driving. His patent-pending innovation features “jaw-strap technology” that turns your existing cellphone into a hands-free device — simply by taping it to your head.

3 New Jersey bears scared off by puppy “just harmless hairy gay dudes” on 2627 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

NEW YORK, NY — The three bears reportedly scared from a New Jersey backyard by a cocker spaniel puppy have come forward with a very different account of events. “First off, we’re grown men — albeit really hairy gay ones…”

Man joins Victoria’s Secret thong injury lawsuit, claims thong “hurt my balls” on 2520 2008

by doglord | ˜ 3 Comments »

LOS ANGLES, CA—A day after 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer Macrida Patterson filed suit against Victoria’s Secret, claiming a decorative jewel from one of the company’s thongs had shot into her eye, scratching her cornea and causing her to cry out in pain, a California man has joined the lawsuit, claiming the same model thong “really hurt my balls.”

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