McCain and Paris Hilton caught together in video on 3130 2008

by doglord | ˜ 5 Comments »

VENICE, CA — On the same day presidential hopeful John McCain likened his opponent Barak Obama to celebutant Paris Hilton, Dogtownink.com received this video (CLICK “READ ON” BELOW TO VIEW) of John McCain and Paris Hilton cavorting together, enjoying the benefits of the same Bush tax cuts for the wealthy that McCain has vowed to extend.

Auto industry’s surprise job boom: gas syphoning, catalytic converter boosting top list on 2917 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

VENICE, CA — Despite plummeting sales, plant closings and massive lay-offs, analysts say the automotive industry is actually experiencing strong job growth, fueled by a thriving smash-and-grab sector and industrious gas re-salers.

Reward offered for Obama’s stolen ‘fro on 2812 2008

by doglord | ˜ 1 Comment »

VENICE, CA — Candidate Barak Obama’s afro was stolen here today in a sign that the 2008 presidential campaign has grown increasingly hairy–after its recent lipsticky phase. “You may boost a brother’s do-rag,” said Obama supporter, 50 Cent. “You do not steal his ‘fro.”

Money shot in the arm: stimulus checks used for porn on 272 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA — President Bush’s stimulus package is definitely doing some stimulating: According to AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), since the stimulus checks were sent out in May, many porn websites have reported membership increases of up to 30 percent.

3 New Jersey bears scared off by puppy “just harmless hairy gay dudes” on 2627 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

NEW YORK, NY — The three bears reportedly scared from a New Jersey backyard by a cocker spaniel puppy have come forward with a very different account of events. “First off, we’re grown men — albeit really hairy gay ones…”

Couple caught doing it in confessional told that’s only for priests on 2411 2008

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CESENA, ITALY — An Italian couple caught having sex in a church confessional during morning Mass have apologized after being told that playing hide the holy cannoli in confessionals is is only for the clergy.

Fox News Calls for “Terrorist Fist Jab” Internment Camps on 2410 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

NEW YORK, NY — A week after correctly guessing that Barak Obama’s celebratory fist bump with his wife after securing the Democratic Party’s nomination for president, was, in fact a “terrorist fist jab,” Fox News is calling for the construction of hundreds of terrorist fist jab interment camps across the U.S.

Young Great White Reaches Cabo in Record Time (Barely Beats Carload of Cougars) on 1325 2008

by doglord | ˜ 1 Comment »

Experts are expressing amazement that a young great white shark, released in February from the Monterey Aquarium, arrived in Pacific Ocean waters off Baja’s Cabo San Lucas in record time (and, coincidentally, just in time for spring break). “Where does any man-eater go this time of year?” said Ellen Barkin, as she careened into Cabo with a carload of cougars.

Carrot Top Next To Recreate Marilyn Monroe’s Final Nude Photo Shoot on 0925 2008

by doglord | ˜ 2 Comments »

Not one to be one-upped by Lindsey Lohan, freaky D-list personality Carrot Top has announced that he, too, will recreate Marilyn Monroe’s famed last nude photo shoot.

David Blaine Thrills By Escaping Notice! on 0823 2008

by doglord | ˜ No Comments »

With his latest nauseating feat of public masochism, master escape artist David Blaine has finally accomplished what many have waited with baited breath for the prestidigitator to do: He’s completely escaped notice!

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