VENICE, CA — On the same day presidential hopeful John McCain likened his opponent Barak Obama to celebutant Paris Hilton, Dogtownink.com received this video (CLICK “READ ON” BELOW TO VIEW) of John McCain and Paris Hilton cavorting together, enjoying the benefits of the same Bush tax cuts for the wealthy that McCain has vowed to extend.
McCain and Paris Hilton caught together in video on 3130 2008
Auto industry’s surprise job boom: gas syphoning, catalytic converter boosting top list on 2917 2008
VENICE, CA — Despite plummeting sales, plant closings and massive lay-offs, analysts say the automotive industry is actually experiencing strong job growth, fueled by a thriving smash-and-grab sector and industrious gas re-salers.
Reward offered for Obama’s stolen ‘fro on 2812 2008
VENICE, CA — Candidate Barak Obama’s afro was stolen here today in a sign that the 2008 presidential campaign has grown increasingly hairy–after its recent lipsticky phase. “You may boost a brother’s do-rag,” said Obama supporter, 50 Cent. “You do not steal his ‘fro.”
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA — President Bush’s stimulus package is definitely doing some stimulating: According to AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), since the stimulus checks were sent out in May, many porn websites have reported membership increases of up to 30 percent.
NEW YORK, NY — The three bears reportedly scared from a New Jersey backyard by a cocker spaniel puppy have come forward with a very different account of events. “First off, we’re grown men — albeit really hairy gay ones…”
CESENA, ITALY — An Italian couple caught having sex in a church confessional during morning Mass have apologized after being told that playing hide the holy cannoli in confessionals is is only for the clergy.
NEW YORK, NY — A week after correctly guessing that Barak Obama’s celebratory fist bump with his wife after securing the Democratic Party’s nomination for president, was, in fact a “terrorist fist jab,” Fox News is calling for the construction of hundreds of terrorist fist jab interment camps across the U.S.
Experts are expressing amazement that a young great white shark, released in February from the Monterey Aquarium, arrived in Pacific Ocean waters off Baja’s Cabo San Lucas in record time (and, coincidentally, just in time for spring break). “Where does any man-eater go this time of year?” said Ellen Barkin, as she careened into Cabo with a carload of cougars.
Not one to be one-upped by Lindsey Lohan, freaky D-list personality Carrot Top has announced that he, too, will recreate Marilyn Monroe’s famed last nude photo shoot.
David Blaine Thrills By Escaping Notice! on 0823 2008
With his latest nauseating feat of public masochism, master escape artist David Blaine has finally accomplished what many have waited with baited breath for the prestidigitator to do: He’s completely escaped notice!