Dogtown Ink

McCain-inspired Obama THAT ONE posters hit the Internet shortly after the debate and they’re yours for the taking!

SHAFTER, CA — Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska today announced her decision to abandon her run for vice president in order to head the Republican ticket. “The way Senator McCain talks about they didn’t elect him Miss Congeniality,” Palin said, “he deserves to win it before he gets any older and crankier.”

VENICE, CA — The premature McCain Wins Debate! advertisement that appeared on presidential candidate John McCain’s website today turns out to have merely been the tip of the iceberg! Dogtown Ink has come into possession of a whole slew of additional McCain ads. Seems the cocky candidate is prepared for all kinds of premature ejaculations.

NEW YORK, NY — A week after correctly guessing that Barak Obama’s celebratory fist bump with his wife after securing the Democratic Party’s nomination for president, was, in fact a “terrorist fist jab,” Fox News is calling for the construction of hundreds of terrorist fist jab interment camps across the U.S.

NEW ORLEANS, LA — Having left audiences nationwide slack-jawed and dumbstruck by his Tuesday night speech before a green backdrop that makes it a snap to superimpose porno on, Republican senator and presidential hopeful John “That Weird Smile” McCain plans to cash in on the buzz he’s created by marketing a speechmaking DVD.

After evidence emerged today that, in 1995, Hillary Clinton told then-President Bill Clinton “screw ‘em” in reference to working class southerners, she insisted that she once fought and won an agonizing, private battle with Tourette’s syndrome.

Despite mounting pressure from Democratic party leaders for Hillary Clinton to end her campaign to be the party’s nominee for president, Hillary Clinton today insisted she has “no intention whatsoever of quitting the race…ever.”