Microsoft to Acquire Liechtenstein on 0716 2008

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Microsoft today announced its intention to acquire the land-locked alpine principality of Liechtenstein.

First Ladies Man—Bill Clinton: “Fired Up and Ready To Go Day One!” on 0711 2008

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“I’m pumped to serve as First Ladies Man—very!” Clinton told reportedly told . “And I’ve got ZERO problem with it. I’ll be fired up and ready to go day one. Day Two, too. Hell, I’ll go every day of the week, God willing.”

Study: More Americans In Rehab Than Out on 068 2008

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A new study finds more Americans in rehab than out, though hard numbers for those who are out were difficult to obtain (given that most were “out” clubbing or “out” cold from the previous night’s clubbing).

United To Charge Extra for Losing Second Bag on 065 2008

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United Airlines announced today that it would soon begin charging some passengers extra for losing a second bag.

D.I.Y. F.-ing Tedious on 0426 2008

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Researchers studying ultra-hip do-it-yourself (D.I.Y.) culture have confirmed the worst suspicions of many D.I.Y.ers come lately: It’s a royal pain in the ass and the results usually suck.

Winehouse Relative Insists Suspicious White Stuff Around Nose “Runs In Family” on 0426 2008

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Former anesthesiologist-to-the-stars and distant Amy Winehouse relative Nigel Gaye-Lewis has offered an explanation for the suspicious white stuff so often photographed around the soul singer’s nose.

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