Dogtown Ink

“The canals” as the area is referred to by locals is a lovely little theme park of a neighborhood built around the only canals still remaining in Venice. Though quaint, these are not the broader canals of yore.

The humble beach bungalows that once dominated the canals are rapidly giving way to battleship-style McMansions, few of which are architecturally pleasing. Still, the canals make for a lovely stroll. Watch out for duck poopk, Snowy Egrets, old hippies and publicity-shy Hollywood types.

When most people think of Venice, nowadays, it’s Ocean Front Walk — the boardwalk — they picture. A couple of miles of insanity, vanity and humanity with souvenir shops and tattoo parlors galore, street vendors and palm readers, more crazies than can shake sticks at you, sleaze, ocean breeze, street performers, nut jobs, tourists, posers…it’s all here, particularly on beautiful weekend days. Come prepared for a full immersion in life’s rich pageant. If you’re bringing a pygmy anaconda, please bring its sunblock. Actually, best to leave the pets at home unless you want to traumatize them for life.

Not the scene these days that Central Park’s roller disco spot is, the skate dance area at Venice Beach (near the Public Art Walls) hosts plenty of dedicated roller boogie-oogiers, particularly on weekends. Some dance on blades, some on old school four-on-the-floor skates. Are you phreak enough to disappear down this hip-hop roller-disco rabbit hole? Un-huh, un-huh…

One person’s nightmare is another person’s dark night of the soul. And then there’s Jonathan Borofsky’s Ballerina Clown, which is…well…both.

The barker barks half-heartedly about all the s**t they have inside that has two heads. For my money, I’m sticking with the Museum of Jurassic Technology a few miles up Venice Blvd.